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2004-08-02T00:36:00.000-07:00

wow. i haven't no update in long time, no? ok. so...here's me post

weekend camp 2! fun. tiring. opener done - sorta. weekend camp 2 done!

disneyland! hrmm. short! magnets! salty! fun! leave! disneyland done!

movie night! exorcist! funny/scary! camera! computers! m&ms! movie night done!

tshirt! hard. bleh. no fun. sorta fun. tappy. no no. yes yes. bad idea. tshirt done!

music school! nice. too hard for me. pro. lalalala. amber alert! music school done!

reagan library! sad. death. sad. movies. water leakage. expensive food. sad. big neck. reagan library done!

beach house! visit. beach football. pier. sharks. hooks. soda. poker. beach house done!

that be my latest happenings. one more week of =(. then TOC! x 2! AHHH.

ok.

2004-06-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

skfdhasdkfjhsdkjfhaskdjhfasfd. oh my shmagiggy. i am soooooo freeeeacking bored. do you like the little c i through in there. yeah. i know you like it.

anyways, yesterday was muy greatastico. i woke up. did nothing for a LONGG time (yess...with 2 g's) and then i played kingdom hearts on EXPERT MODE and then i did nothing....and then it was 4 'o clock. time to go to practice.

since it was time to go to practice, i decided that it was time to go to practice. so i went to practice. and then i went. and it was practice. and so, i was really nervous. it was private lesson day, and so i decided to sweat profusely. yes. PROFUSELY! anyways...

that was over eventually. - oh yah...i went to boba loca. forgot about that. so american. it's kind of sad. but fear not! i will remain loyal to the tapioca express that is a 2 minute scooter ride from my house. yes yes. all hail los mighty tapioca.

so then me and sarah went to the spectrum - just cause we didn't want to go home. so then - we went to the spectrum. and being the nerds that we are - we went to borders. but borders is a cool place, yo. i assure you, it is. this boat can't sink! i assure you, she can. yes. the bunnies are awesome. anyways...then we both got 'the pelican brief' by john grisham. yes yes. good stuff. we then went to in n out and consumed foodstuffs. i learned the 'D-O-Double G Shuffle', by mr. miguel. as sarah says, it's good stuff. and it is. except that i am retarded and can't play it.

anyways - went back to borders and i read 3 pages of my book while sarah was on her celluLAR. so then - we went home. yes. it was good stuff.

so now - today - i'm waiting for another LONG 20 MINUTES TO PASS UNTIL I GET TO GO TO REHEARSAL. bleh. i want to go now.

woke up this morning. went downstairs. tried to watch MURDER SHE WROTE but it was tooooo boring so i went back upstairs and played KINGDOM HEARTS ON EXPERT MODE - cause i'm a nerd. then i went downstairs watched half of RAIN MAN.

and now i realize i have 20 minutes to do my chores and so i can't finish this. AHHHH. ok ok. i'll post latre. ok ok. see ya later :).

2004-06-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

all this free time makes me sleepy. but thar'll be no sleeping for me. cause that would just be a waste, now wouldn't it?

went over to my friends house today. we were supposed to write - but no. ended up watching bunnies re-enact movies...in 30 seconds. haha. yes - i know - it IS great. aaaaaannnnyyyyywaaaaaayyyys....

then we played the ending of kingdom hearts - which was kinda fun. the ending is like pants-peeing good times. =). then we played hp2 on ps2. that's one...haha...wierd game. ahhhh. those milky way cookie bars were good. =D.

then came home. did nothing. gonna go see hp3 tomorrow. ohhhh jah! s'wonderful, eh? yes...yes it is. redid someones blog...it looks exactly like this one...hahaha...woo.

gosh. i miss people. well...more like just someone. =/. i wanna see them...right now. but that's not possible. as hannah cole would say - - boo minus. boo.

thought of the day:: italics are fun =).

2004-06-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

goals for the summer:

1. keep in touch w/ people.
2. spend time with someone REALLY special. <5
3. make out with a hot korean girl...haha. jk jk.
4. call people a lot.
5. go to disneyland.
6. see 6000 movies.
7. do well at all the camps.
8. learn to read music better.
9. visit troy drumline practices/ band camp.
10. write that freaking novel.
11. squeeze fat :).
12. take a lot of pictures.
13. finish editing lotr. hahaha.
14. read a good book.
15. keep my room clean.
16. not be so fat.
17. see drum corps!
18. hug someone 30 times in one day.
19. sleeeeeeeeeeep.
20. tell somebody that i love them.

2004-06-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

why is it i feel so left out when i'm not left out? why do i want so much more when i already have so much? why do i feel like i'm doing the wrong thing so much right now? it's horrible. but i don't think anyone understands.

i keep trying to rationalize my decision - try to make myself not feel so stupid. but then i begin to doubt myself. but this doubt only comes from a thread of hope that might not even exist. i doesn't work. nothing works.

this isn't a plea for attention - but i just feel so unwanted right now. i feel alone. but i know there are so many people here for me. i just don't understand.

i guess when you give up something that you have lived for - you have to die inside, just a little bit. i guess that's exactly what i'm feeling right now.

2004-06-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

hrmm...let us see....

banquet was yesterday. it was nice for the most part. wayyyy tooo maaaany awards. gosh - seemed like it would never end. it was horrible. but everything else was good. i went with nice people.

i think i'll be lazy today and do nothing. maybe make my french notecard for the final. but that's about it. bleh. i'm so tired.

haha...you like the new template? i like the picture. whoever that baby is....damn...that's going to be one sexy kid when he grows up. fo sho.

i have the strongest urge to go back to hawaii right now. AHHH! it was so awesome. boo. it should have been TWO weeks! ahh. boooooooooooooooo. i want it NOW!

i want to see harry potter. haha. yes..s.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y. yes. yes.

i'm bored and tired and this typing ain't making any sense to me. so i will go now. ahh. boo. i hope everyone feels better soon. ltf...

2004-05-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

this feels so familiar. but i can't let this happen. not NOW. no. it's too late anyways. i'll just forget about it...yes forget about it.

anyways.days are kinda sad lately. and they're going by fast. 10 days left. whoa man. people say they'll miss me, that they don't want me to go. i dunno. it's nice knowing they care...i guess. i'm really confused.

this was no one's fault. this was just me, stuck in a place i didn't belong, somewhere i wasn't needed. so, i'm leaving. i'm still gonna visit as much as i can, gonna call people like crazy - gonna make a real effort. kinda sucks...this is the 2nd time this has happened. boo.

the reason? i dunno. troy and it's stupidity? my own stupidity? my intolerance for people? i dunno. i'm stupid. that's why.

gonna miss you people so much.

and honestly...i love you. yeah...i do. you mean so much to me, you'll never EVER know in a million years. i'd kiss you if i was courageous enough...i really would...not for any reason but it'd be an abtractly tangible connection between us. man...i'm gonna miss you so much.

it feels so nice when you're in my arms. it feels like i'm home.

2004-05-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

so...i'm leaving.

i wanted this to be a 10 page long entry about my feelings and stuff like that. but it won't be like that.

i can't really say anything. it's so wierd.

i sat down to write this and i thought that this would be easy. but it's not. because there's a part of me that doesn't want to leave, a part that doesn't want to let go. but i realized a while ago that i do not belong here...so i'm leaving....

so...i'm leaving...

2004-05-20T21:11:00.000-07:00

oh man.

excited excited. but super nervous.

AHHHH. I HAVE TO!!!

2004-05-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

Wow man. I love it. Championships tomorrow. I think we're gonna do well. PIT CAPTION. yeah. i want it. =D. ahashdjahsd.

inspirational quote time::

"To excel is to continually perform. Not for a moment or moments. Not for a day or days. But to perform day after day, month after month after month,
and to make the uncommon performance look commonplace.
To excel is to take the inner drive of competition and not only embrace it, but master it.
It is no wonder then, that when one truly excels, one is known for excellence.
It cannot be taught, or legislated, or willed into existence.
It must come from the very depths of an individual's desire to be the best."

- By Some Awesome Old White Guy, Probably